Published on February 28, 2006 By tweedz In Personal Relationships
So recently I have had a lot of changing moments in my life. With going back to school, moving back home (temporarily), changing friends or groups of friends, and just my priorities. I am hoping to move out at the end of the summer with a friend who I have recently been hanging out with a lot. I am noticing that few of my friendships are ending up a bit one sided. What I am not understanding is why people think that a friendship like that is ok. I end up being the only one to call them and end up planning things around their schedule and not comprimising at all. It feels like I am doing all the work and not getting any in return. I am also in the position where I had the oppurtunity to be in a relationship but opted not to cause of time constraints. I realize that I can't give out the time even though I want to more than anything to have that one person I can talk to and count on. I am looking kinda for a relationship more for possibly settling down than anything. But just wondering what people think.


Comments
on Feb 28, 2006
Friendship should be a two way street. I don't mind if it's out of balance temporarily because they have a lot going on but after a while I would wonder why I was the only one making the effort. Maybe it's time to make some new friends. The thing is that if you stop calling and being so accomodating, they might start to miss you. Also I would still find time for a relationship even if you are busy. It means a lot to have that one person you can count on in your life.
on Mar 01, 2006
I agree with what Loca said.

You know your priorities and that's good, you also know or have come to realised that friendship takes two people, not one, and that's good too. As for the relationship, you did the right thing. If you can't put the time in it, if you can't give this person your all, then it's not worth going into because it would not be fair to him/her.

Friendship is hardwork, but it has to be mutual. Sometimes people will get busy with lots of things going on in their lives, and sometimes they want to be alone and try to handle it all on their own, so they go MIA for awhile. And that should be ok if you have a relationship that can sustain that absence. You should be close enough and in tune with each other to know that this is ok and acceptable for a bit because that's how some people handle changes, pain, problems. This type of friendship though is usually one that has been there for a very long time.

It's great that you want to have a relationship that is permanent and that will lead to more overtime. You're on the right track Zuma. Stay the course and go with your heart, you'll find what you're looking for without realising it. Good luck!

But if you're the one who cont
on Mar 03, 2006
Thanks all for the wonderful advise I will take it to heart in making decisions.

zuma